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Ask Emilie: Bridesmaid Tuxedo Dilemma

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Welcome to Ask Emilie, here you can ask any question to our wedding planner Emilie. Emilie will answer your question no matter the topic. It can be about anything from styling, general wedding questions, cultural customs, planning, wedding budget and more. Today’s question is about the bridesmaid tuxedo.

Today’s question is from an anonymous reader who asks:

“One of my good friends is in my bridal party, however she does not want to wear a bridesmaids dress. It’s because she a lesbian who is quite blokey and is not used to wearing women’s clothing. I was thinking she could wear a suit or tux in the same colour as the bridesmaids dresses. After speaking to my fiance, he only wants to the guys to wear tuxes. I get both sides of the argument but I feel like I am stuck in the middle. I could really use some help. Thanks”

Bridesmaid Tuxedo: Would You Allow It?

Before going in to answer your question, it is my opinion that the bridesmaids and groomsmen wear whatever the wedding couple wishes them to wear. It does not matter what the bridesmaid or groomsmen personally like or dislike – it’s not about them.

The simple logic is this, if its your wedding you make the rules and if its theirs then they make the rules. When same-sex marriage is legalised in Australia (same sex marriage is now legal) or your friend has a destination wedding and she asks you to wear a suit instead of a dress then by all means its your obligation to wear what she wants.

A Little Story

Even Dimitri (one of our wedding planners) went to China for his friend’s wedding. The groomsmen as part of the pre-wedding activities had to wear adult diapers. This was a task that was organised by the bridesmaids. He said it was tradition to put he groom and groomsmen through a test for the groom to show his love to his bride. Dimitri told me he didn’t like that part about being in adult diapers but he did it because his friend asked him to. He got into the spirit instead of trying to cause a problem.

The idea of having the bridesmaid tuxedo as the same colour as the other bridesmaids dresses is a good compromise. That being said when you look at your photos after the wedding, your friend may stick out from the other bridesmaids due to the difference in attire instead of blending in – again if you are happy with this, then by all means go for it.

Another option is to have modular dresses for your bridesmaids. When they go to the fitting they will have a dress fitted to their shape and style. While it will not be a bridesmaid tuxedo, you could speak to the dressmaker and perhaps find a common ground. This way you can suit both yourself and your friend. This option will of course not work if you have your heart set on them all wearing one style.

It Is Up To You

At the end of it all, its your wedding and its about you and your husband to be. You don’t want to change important elements of your wedding for someone else as it is your wedding day. Also you have spent a lot of money to make the day how you want, will this conflict with the style of your wedding? Stay strong in what you want as its your day not hers.

Would you let your bridesmaid / bridesmaids wear a tuxedo? Join the discussion and let us know in the comments below 🙂

Do you have a question for Ask Emilie then email her here? Alternatively, fill out the form below and have your question answered in our wedding blog. Also, check out the other Ask Emilie Blogs here, they may also contain what you are looking for or give you ideas and inspirations for other wedding-related questions.

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