Welcome to Ask Emilie, here you can ask any question to our wedding planner Emilie. Emilie will answer your question no matter the topic. It can be about anything from styling, general wedding questions, cultural customs, planning, wedding budgets and more. This week we are talking with a bride who is going through some wedding stress.
Today’s question is from Jin who asks:
Dear Emilie, I am not normally a stress head but on the lead up to my wedding I am getting these paranoid feelings something will go wrong and getting wedding stress. The weird thing is that I work as a PA in a large corporate company. Things are always coming in, going out and constantly changing minute to minute. So time management issues and stress are things I rarely experience as I can juggle many things at once. All the way through planning my wedding I kept having the feeling that I will forget something important, half my guests won’t arrive or that I might even trip down the aisle. Why is this happening and can I do something about it? Thanks Jin
Stress is something that many couples go through and people experience it for different reasons. For some couples it’s financial, for others it is family issues but in your case, it’s more about everything not going to plan. From what I am reading, you are a highly organised multitasker who is used to constant change and multiple workloads. Managing everything in your day-to-day job is one thing, large scale events like weddings is a different kind of stress. Let’s take a look at the differences and how to manage wedding stress better.
Wedding Stress – What’s The Difference
Wedding Stress VS Other Types Of Stress
In your day-to-day job, you deal with things and they are done. You then mark it off your to-do-list and move onto the next thing. Think of it like this, each day you go into work and you have a bag of marbles and you need to flick them in the right direction to get rid of them. Sometimes more marbles come in during the day but you just need to know where/how to flick them. You do this day in/day out – while diverse in what you do there is a consistency in your role.
A wedding is more like lining up dominoes in a row. Everything needs to be set, organised and placed in the correct sequence for it all to work. If one of these dominoes are out of place or missing then you need to potentially mix them up again. This is until everything is in a better position and all set up again.
For example, if you have not chosen the right reception venue then it may not be big enough to hold all your guests. There could also be the issue of the venue not matching your theme. What if your wedding colours do not match your bridesmaids, do you find a new colour or keep shopping until a new style is found? While it is your wedding, you are dealing with an event of 100+ people, each one needing to be seated appropriately and so on.
As weddings can take 12 -18 months to plan, there are things you simply can’t finalise till on the day or factors that will/can change. In essence, a wedding is a large scale project. This type of stress can build up in people as they are doing something they have never done before.
How To Manage Wedding Stress
There are a few things you can do. Firstly take a step back and realise that you have months or even a year to organise everything. You do not have to do everything straight away but you should set a timeline of when and when things need to be done. This way you have a starting point.
Make sure you look after yourself and treat yourself from time to time. Some great ideas are to go and get a massage or even treat yourself to a minimoon.
We have hourly wedding planning consultations where couples come in and hit us with all their hard and tricky questions and problems. We help with suggestions and options for their wedding and personal needs.
The other option is to realise you may need help planning your wedding. If you are having trouble take a look at our wedding planning services which can help plan everything from start to finish (or somewhere in between). The other service that may interest you is an on-the-day wedding coordinator on your wedding day to do all the running around and manage everything on the day so you do not have to.
Different Types Of Stress For Different People
At the end of the day, it’s about realising that if you are organised and multi-skilled then everything should work out. You can only control what you can control. As far as half the guests not arriving I personally have not seen that happen. While some people may not show, most will tell you beforehand and generally give a very good reason. If you have organised everything and it is prepared then relax, take a moment and realise everything will be fine. After all, this day is about you marrying your best friend. Lastly for some great tips on planning your wedding which can potentially help to take some stress away, check out our wedding planning advice vlog.
Are you stressing out over your wedding? Do you have any wedding stress? Let us know by leaving a comment below in the comments section 🙂
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