27 Oct Gift Etiquette
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You’re going to a wedding and want to make sure you give the right gift? Well do not worry as Pink Caviar Events has you covered. Gift etiquette can be a delicate topic to tackle. It ultimately depends on your relationship to the couple it will determine the gift.
The below guide will help answer some common questions on what types of gifts you can bring. It can also assist with a basic budget and what is acceptable and is NOT acceptable.
Amount To Spend
While there is no set rule on amount to spend, we have seen in the past few years that the gift (or cash) is in the vicinity of $100 in value. Weddings are expensive and you are essentially going to a high end party. Put yourself in their position and ask yourself “If I was getting married what would I consider to be an acceptable gift to give myself”. I have seen quite a few couples give either nothing or something in the value of $20 or nothing. Then when that couple gets married they get annoyed when they don’t get much from their own guests.
To Gift Or Cash
These days it has become more and more common to ask for money instead of a gift. However there are ways to ask for money properly. One person I know literally said “Just give us cash, we need money so just cash”. His mother was quite taken back at being so direct about it. She even tried to stop the invitations from going out as she wanted to reword it. Many couples will put a little rhyme to ask in a more polite fashion for example:
Your presence at our wedding is all that we wish for. However, if you want to give a gift, we will be grateful for a donation towards our new future/house renovations/honeymoon/etc.
In many cases, people have lived on their own and already have a household full of items. An example is that my now husband and I lived on our own prior to meeting so we everything for the house. When we finally moved in together, homewares and kitchen gifts were very impractical as we already had a toaster, cutlery, TV and so on.
We felt out of place to ask for cash especially to our older relatives who look down upon asking for cash for a party. To compromise we gave guests 2 options, the first was to contribute money for our honeymoon. While its still asking for money its for a specific purpose and most people were fine with this idea (including the older relatives). We also asked for gift cards for a large department store like Harvey Norman or Myer, this way we could collect all the cards and buy a big ticket item that we want to upgrade – like a lounge suite.
Another couple we know were very independently wealthy. They had asked their guests to donate to a charity that they had selected.
When It’s Acceptable Not To Give
There are some cases where not giving a gift is fine or as something simple as a thank you card. An example is a family member from my wedding who we knew was going through a tough time with his health and had enormous medical expenses. While this person could not attend our wedding, he still sent us a card with a cheque, which we felt bad accepting, knowing his current situation.
Destination weddings are a good example when some couples do not ask or expect gifts for their wedding. The way they see it is that their guests have spent thousands of dollars for an international flight and accommodation.
It just depends on your relationship with the couple, how much you are able or willing to spend. If you do not really know the couple then try to give something thoughtful or contribute to their wishing well. After all they are throwing a massive party for you all to enjoy.
Do you have a question for Ask Emilie then email her here? Alternatively, fill out the form below and have your question answered in our wedding blog. Also, check out the other Ask Emilie Blogs here, they may also contain what you are looking for or give you ideas and inspirations for other wedding related questions.
Do you have a preference on gift etiquette? Let us know and join the discussion below 🙂