Welcome to Ask Emilie, here you can ask any question to our wedding planner Emilie. Emilie will answer your question no matter the topic. It can be about anything from styling, general wedding questions, cultural customs, planning, wedding budget and more. This week we are talking with a bride who asks “Am I a Bridezilla?!?!”.
Today’s question is from Lisa F who asks:
In all honesty, I am having a hard time writing this. You see I like to think I have been very reasonable / relaxed with my wedding plans. I thought it was pretty standard to have your bridesmaids in a specific colour of dress to match the wedding. One bridesmaid said she was a ‘warm’ and does not want to wear the blue dress that I had chosen and that I am unreasonable. I am also having an adults-only wedding and people are saying I am too controlling. I now have a friend of mine who wants to bring her new boyfriend, but they have only been dating for one month, and I don’t want to invite him. Am I a bridezilla or what? I don’t know what to do. Lisa
To be honest, many people ask themselves “Am I A Bridezilla?” at some point during the wedding planning process/journey. The fact that you are asking yourself if you are even a bridezilla in most cases means you are not. This is because you are self-aware and see how your choices impact others. Let take a look at the examples you gave and break them down to see if you are one of these ‘so-called’ bridezillas.
Am I A Bridezilla?
Most of the time when a person is a bridezilla their mindset is more “I paid $XXXXX, and this is my wedding”. While it is fair to say that a person who is paying a lot expects everything to go their way for their wedding, especially since you should get what you are paying for. There is an assumption that family, friends and the bridal party will do whatever you say. In some cases, this can push the friendship, and yes some requests are unreasonable.
Bridesmaid Dress Issue
From what you have stated in my opinion, you are not a bridezilla. Having your bridesmaids in the same style/coloured dress is reasonable and traditional. While I can understand your bridesmaid’s concern that the colours will not suit her the focus is not about her. You do not want to make your bridesmaids look bad, but the mindset should be how does the ‘group look’. Otherwise, you will have the issue of people wearing different colours/styles, and none of them matching. You will have a bigger issue afterwards when you look at your wedding photos in years to come and think to yourself that they do not match. Then you will potentially think ‘why did I let my friend convince me to do this’.
Adults Only Wedding
The adults-only issue is one that is down to a couples personal choice. We wrote a blog about adult only weddings. It’s not unreasonable as long as people are fully aware. You will ruffle some people the wrong way but it in no way makes you unreasonable. Check out the below vlog we did about a child-free wedding. It covers how to ask and deal with guests who regarding this or check it out on our YouTube channel.
Lastly the boyfriend issue of only being one month. From the way, you spoke you have no issue bringing plus ones or boyfriends/partners. The simple fact is that its a new relationship and they may break up before or after the wedding as it is so new. This in no way makes you a bridezilla. If you are undecided on whether to invite him or not, I would recommend at least meeting him before your wedding.
In short from what you have described, I would say that it does not make you a bridezilla at all. Personal taste definitely, being unreasonable… definitely not. Just stick to your guns. As they say, it is your wedding, not theirs!
Were people calling you a bridezilla when you are/were planning your wedding? Did you ever question yourself with “Am I A Bridezilla”? If you did how did you handle it ? Let us know and join the discussion down below 🙂
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