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Ask Emilie: To Elope Or Not Elope

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Welcome to Ask Emilie, here you can ask any question to our wedding planner Emilie. Emilie will answer your question no matter the topic. It can be about anything from styling, general wedding questions, cultural customs, planning, wedding budget and more. Today’s topic is about the age old question ‘to elope or not to elope’.

Today’s question is from Samantha M who asks:

“Hi Emilie, what are your views on eloping? I have been planning my wedding for the past 6 months and feeling overwhelmed. Some of my friends have suggested eloping and I have started considering to elope. The only other thing weighing on my mind is that both our sides have rather large families. Everyone on both sides is expecting to come. What do I do?”

Almost every bride has considered eloping as an option. If you think about it its cheap, easy and the wedding is DONE. In the chaos of planning your wedding, it seems like such a simple solution. All you need to do is go down to the Birth Deaths and Marriages (NSW) pay $412 and you are done. You can even fly to the USA and pay $600USD ($780AUD) for a wedding at Taco Bell in Vegas which even comes with a Taco Bell meal (so catering is also covered).

On the outset it appears that eloping seems so simple and easy, then why isn’t everyone doing it. While your friends (who have never eloped) or bloggers who are looking for content and not eloped themselves are not giving you the full picture. Unfortunately with everything considered eloping can have its own consequences. The fact is that while it is glamorised as the simple solution, there are a few things to consider. So sit back and lets take a look at all the options before eloping, although now I have a craving for tacos :/ (thanks Taco Bell).

Speak To People Who Have Eloped

Firstly with regards to your friends Samantha, did they elope themselves? I would speak to people who have eloped instead of hearing about it online or on TV. When you do speak to someone who has eloped you should ask them a few questions. Firstly what were their reasons for eloping, was it due to pressure, finance and so on. Secondly what is their family relationship like. If they don’t have a big family, not close, family conflict and so on. Lastly do they have any regrets? Years after their wedding, do they regret it? While in the moment of chaos with planning its the simple solution but is the easy way out the right thing for you?

Consequences Of Eloping

Most engaged couples will justify their actions of eloping by saying “Its about me and my future husband / wife”. While that is technically correct, the simple fact is that it is a communal event. While the wedding is about the two of you, it is seen as an event to celebrate it with all your family and friends.
Image it from your potential guests perspective. Your best friend, mother, father, close cousins and so on who play an integral part of your life. They have invited you to their birthdays, weddings and so on. Imagine if your best friend was cut out of the equation when they wanted to celebrate the day with you. Sure your best friend will get over it but don’t be surprised if you are not invited to some weddings and events in the future.

Compromises Instead Of Elope

Believe it or not, there are some solutions to compromise if you are considering to elope. The main issue with eloping that many couples face is not inviting close family and friends. Sure you can be ok with cutting out your 3rd cousin Johno (who you have not seen in 10 years) but what about your mum, dad, best friend and so on?

Some solution are to have a small intimate wedding and invite only your closest family and friends. That way you can still have people that matter the most to you without going to that extra logistical planning. The wedding will be more cost effective. This is because there are literally less people attending.

Another option is to have a destination wedding. It could be in the Hunter Valley, New Zealand or wherever you wish. This way you can invite EVERYONE but only those who are willing to travel the distance will be at your wedding.

To Elope Or Not Elope?

While you may read this and think we are anti elopements, the truth is we are not. I wanted to cover the positive and negative aspects of an elopement and not glamorise it. In the end the wedding is about you and your significant other but it is also a community/ family event. So if you have looked at all the pros and cons, spoken to people who have eloped and believe its the right decision for you then go for it! If however you are still not sure you can speak to one of our wedding planners or  a solution as easy as using a wedding coordinator to help take the stress away.

Are you planning or elope? If so what were your main reasons for doing so? Join the discussion and let us know in the comment section below 🙂

Do you have a question for Ask Emilie then email her here? Alternatively, fill out the form below and have your question answered in our wedding blog. Also, check out the other Ask Emilie Blogs here, they may also contain what you are looking for or give you ideas and inspirations for other wedding related questions.


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