Welcome to Ask Emilie, here you can ask any question for our wedding planner Emilie to answer. Emilie will answer your question no matter the topic. It can be about anything from styling, general wedding questions, cultural customs, planning, wedding budget and more. This week we are talking with a bride who’s new work colleague wants a wedding invite.
Today’s question is from Carla V who asks:
Hi Emilie I have this odd situation where my new work colleague wants an invite to my wedding. I have only known her for two months, that said we are very close at work. We spend lunch together and work directly with each other. Shes definitely a work friend but not sure if it crosses over into real friend territory. I just don’t want photos of people I used to know if that makes sense. Any ideas? Thanks Carla
This is an awkward question that many couples ask themselves when thinking of inviting their work colleagues. I am sure she is a lovely person, and you both get along great. I can understand her wanting to get an invite to your special day. She sees and talks to you every day at work and feels you are both good friends. Let’s take a step back, look at the big picture and hopefully give some useful advice.
New Work Colleague Wants A Wedding Invite – What To Do?!
Are you really friends
There is the saying “are they real friends or just work friends“. You can definitely make long-lasting friends from people you work with. These friendships can stay long after you have moved on to another job. We actually cover this topic in another blog “Should You Invite Work Colleague To Wedding“. To give you a super-condensed version of the blog:
- Do you hang out with her after work?
- Has she met your fiance?
- If she gets a position above you, would you be genuinely happy about it?
The blog goes into more detail, and I suggest you check it out. If you answered yes to all three bullet points, then you are off to a good start. If you answered no to any of them, then I would have a long hard think if you are both real friends. That said she is new at your workplace and while you may not consider her a true friend yet, it could become more meaningful down the line.
Would you be comfortable for her to be in wedding photos
Ask yourself one simple question “20 years from your wedding day, would you be ok seeing her in your wedding photos”? Often you hear people who have been married for 20 years plus say (in relation to wedding photos “I have not seen that person in 15 to 20 years”.
This applies to work colleagues as well as other wedding guests such as family and existing friends. If your new work friends wants a wedding invite and she comes, would you be happy seeing her in your wedding photos many years from now (even if she failed the ‘are we real friends test’)?
What about the other staff at the office
So this is where the office politics comes in, and you do not want to turn this into a Game Of Thrones Situation. Is your new work colleague the only one asking for a wedding invite? Are others from your office invited? If you invited the whole office and not her then yes I can see how it would be awkward. She would be like “WTF we are close, and you invite everyone but me”.
However, if no one else from your office is coming and they have known you for longer it could be weird (depending on your relationships at the office). Just be careful of who you invite because if you invite some and not others, then it can get weird afterwards.
I hope this helps.
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If a new work colleague wants a wedding invite would you let them come to your wedding? Are you inviting anyone from your office? Let us know by leaving a comment below 🙂