You are probably towards the beginning of your wedding planning journey. You know which of your friends, family, acquaintances of who you will / will not invite. The question you then ask yourself is if you should invite your work friends. I mean why not, you see them 5 days a week and they are like family to you in some way… right? The question you may be asking yourself is if they are a real friend or just good work friends. If they are just good work friends do you want them at your wedding especially if you look back on photos 20 years from now only to realise you have not seen them in 19 years?
Even if they are just good work friends you may still wish to invite them. Let’s take a look and see if you should consider inviting your work friends to your wedding.
Invite Your Work Friend To Your Wedding
Work Friend Or Real Friend
There is often a debate that many people have about their work friends. The question of if you are real friends. Sometimes you will work with people for years and talk all the time and then one of you moves on and… crickets. Sometimes you meet people and only know them at work for a short time before moving on but you remain in contact many years down the line. You can never really tell until after the dust settles. If you are only thinking of inviting them because you think they are genuine friends but can not work it out here are some questions to ask yourself.
Ratio Of Work To Non-Work Discussion
So we are all guilty of this where work colleagues will talk about work stuff. It makes sense you work together and it’s your most obvious and relate-able connection. From time to time you start to bring up other things into your conversation such as family, friends, that all-important finance amongst other personal details. Obviously, at work, you would expect the conversation to be mainly about work. What about at lunch or outside of work? If all you talk about outside of work is work then they are just work friends.
A Simple Test: The Bechdel Work Friend Test
The Bechdel test was originally designed to evaluate women in fiction such as movies. A simple version of this test is to have 2 women talk for at least 2 minutes. This is without discussing men or anything male related during this time. You could test this at work (obviously do not tell the other person that you are doing this) to see where the conversation naturally goes. Unlike the original test, this one is not gender specific. If both of you can hold a conversation for 2 minutes about something other than work then this is more than just a work friendship. While not a guarantee of genuine friendship its a start 🙂
Hang Out With Them After Work / Weekends
Sure you see them 9 to 5, five days a week but what about outside those hours? I am not just talking about having lunch together or drinks after work. I mean catching up over the weekend or if there is a movie you both want to watch you go see it together (just the two of you, not a big work outing with everyone). This is important because if all your activities involve work or it’s only convenient because you work together / its near work then it just potentially a work friendship.
Real friends see each other, talk on the phone about ‘stuff’. I do not just mean Facebook buddies that you like the occasional post or say Happy Birthday once a year.
Have You Met Their Friends / Family
Ok, so you hang out with them on weekends, passed the Bechdel Work Friend Test but have you met people in their life. If you have met their other half, kids, other friends or even their family? This means you asdfare important enough for you to see them on a personal level. Also if you have met their friends did you all get along or did you feel like the third wheel? If they are like you then there is a chance that you have similar tastes in friends so you should all get along 🙂
Have They Met Your Fiance Or Your Partner
With all the family and friends aside have they met your all-important fiance and/or have you met their significant other? Meeting respective partners means that they are letting you into their life. It is an obvious plus if you get along with their partners. Lastly, it’s even better if your partner gets along with them and their partner as well.
If Your Work Friend Get Promoted Above You, Will You Be Jealous Or Genuinely Happy
Sometimes at work, you may have to compete against each other to get ahead. It’s not that you want to compete against each other but you are both wanting to get ahead. The question you have to ask yourself is if your work friend gets promoted above you for the position you want… will you be jealous? Sure you can be annoyed or upset you did not get it, that is completely understandable. If thoughts of ‘OMG I am so better than her’, ‘she does not deserve this’ or ‘ I should have gotten that promotion’ then should they really be invited to your wedding?
If One Of You Quit Would You Still Hang Out With Them
This is the main question after everything else do you see yourself genuinely keeping contact with them if either of you moves onto different companies/roles/departments. It is a difficult question to ask as you cannot predict the future. Do you live near each other? Do you have common interests? Is there anything besides work holding you two together? If the answer is no then there is a good chance your friendship will not last outside of work.
Would You Still Invite Them If They Are Just Work Friends
The question of inviting work colleagues to your wedding (coming soon) who are just associates is a separate matter. Sometimes its a political or strategic movie that may be beneficial on your front. It could also be the catalyst that turns the work friendship into a real one.
Would you ever consider inviting a work colleague or work friend to your wedding? Do you have any work friends that you are unsure if they are real friends or not? Let us know and join the discussion down below 🙂